


Fremdschämen

by justdoityoufucker



Category: Naruto
Genre: Behind the Scenes, Crack Treated Seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23929495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justdoityoufucker/pseuds/justdoityoufucker
Summary: Obito pushes his mask up so he can pinch his nose.Nothing is going to plan.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 48
Collections: why im sleep deprived 💖✨





	Fremdschämen

Obito pushes his mask up so he can pinch his nose. Nothing is going to plan. Watching over and controlling Akatsuki is like taking care of a herd of kittens; it’s an exercise in futility. Maybe he should just throw in the towel and admit that it can’t be done, Madara’s intentions be damned.

It is bad enough that he’d been forced to put Hidan and Kakuzu together--out of necessity, that was _it_ \--but Deidara and Sasori? He half expects to be notified that both of them are dead. And, good lord--Orochimaru, as well? _That_ disaster? He doesn’t even want to think about it, though he knows it will come back to bite him in the ass later. Orochimaru is nothing if not annoying as all hell.

Anyway, he is up to his eyeballs in accounting and cost account, and when he _isn’t_ doing that he has to make sure that Nagato is still keeping his eyes on the prize.

God. _Kittens_. He picks his pen back up with a groan and returns to balancing the numbers.

-

Things are finally set on the right path--they have a couple of the jinchuuriki caught and the bijuu extracted, they are still turning a profit with all the bounties Kakuzu insists on racking up, and it actually looks like Madara’s plan will come to fruition.

Of course, it is probably his early celebrating that does the whole thing in, like some stupid fast version of karma, but Obito is feeling drunk on success before he even starts drinking, and, what the hell, he deserves a break from reality every once in a while.

So it is with a hangover and a lot of regrets that he wakes up to find Sasori dead and Deidara missing an arm. Despite their coffers being full and everything until that point looking up, he has an ominous feeling that it’s something he should personally deal with.

Honestly though, is he going to have to do everything himself?

-

Playing the idiot feels like a vacation from the accounting and the managing, but at the same time Obito has an instinctive feeling that everything is heading to become absolute shit. He generally trusts those feelings because they are usually right, but his track record in following those feelings is also apparently becoming faulty, because he doesn’t seem to foresee the mess that comes out of Itachi and Sasuke.

Well, it is sort of a plus in the end, because then he can manipulate Sasuke. A little. Look, the plan hasn’t been _completely_ derailed yet and his fingers and toes are all crossed at this point. With another Uchiha in his corner now (and hopefully for the foreseeable future), he can still see there being a chance of success.

At least Orochimaru has been dealt with, though Obito will be completely honest: he’s expecting the man to have some cards still up his sleeves. Despite the whole death thing. He’s like the worst kind of annoying friend that you can’t get rid of.

-

The last straw is Konoha. Admittedly, he probably should’ve looked into the Kyuubi’s jinchuuriki further before sending Nagato to catch him, given that they apparently had a shared history with Jiraiya the Sannin, but who would blame him for not doing that? He has his hands full enough. When he’s not slamming his head against a wall trying to come up with ways to better deal with Madara’s falling apart plan, he’s trying to find new ways to capture the last remaining bijuu. And, really, it’s the end of the line. He doesn’t want to die and meet Madara in the next plane without achieving their shared goals. Having to use Izanagi to get rid of Konan is almost worth it, in the face of that.

And! _And_. Sasuke and his team fail to capture the Hachibi. The remaining toothpicks of the plan are basically ground to a dust, but then again, Madara didn’t choose him to pull off the plan solely because of his pretty face.

Maybe, like, partially though. But when he arrives to save Sasuke from the Kage, he’s ready for war.

**Author's Note:**

> i believe i wrote this a couple years back for a secret santa on tumblr (might be remembering inaccurately but idk) anyway on twitter @shortgoblin


End file.
